Coping with Grief and Gaining Empathy Through Story and the Lens of History

Almost unfathomably, this September 11th marks a staggering 20 years since many of us watched in horror as the iconic twin towers fell, and our nation was under attack. As many adults still work to process the shock and trauma of that day, students not yet born in 2001, grow ever more removed from the event, lacking understanding, even as they weather devastating shared traumas of their own: Mass shootings and gun drills, political unrest, and, yes, a pandemic, and the impact of the isolation of quarantine. How do we teach children to cope with such overwhelming trauma, gaining empathy and even hope through the lens of history?

One of the answers is, and has always been, story.

It is well documented that story – especially via literary fiction -- builds empathy and understanding far better than text or nonfiction ever could. Stepping into story, and the metaphorical shoes of children their own age, to "witness" that tragic day and the days after, to feel with their own hearts how we rose from grief as a nation -- as well as changed in both good and bad ways -- is one of the most instructive ways for children today to learn to cope with their ongoing grief.

For the past five years since I wrote my fictional account of two young adults, Kyle and the bird girl, persevering through the trauma of 9/11, not to mention their own personal grief and coming of age, I have visited many schools and met countless readers ages 12 – 18 who have shared how this one little story has changed their perception and helped them to understand. Readers have voiced not only a new understanding of the actual timeline of events that day, but of how important research and source and fact checking are, or how sweeping changes in technology, security and privacy took place, or how the scourge of Islamophobia took a real and dangerous foothold in our country in the aftermath.

As one student recently admitted, “I learned how horrible it was. I used to think it wasn’t that big of a deal, but now I understand.”

Comprehending the value, and necessity, of teaching 9/11, departments of education around the country, including New York, New Jersey, and Virginia have developed 9/11 curriculum, often pairing it with Holocaust teachings. Both those traumatic events in our shared history are often associated with the easy catchphrase “Never forget.” And yet, we’ve begun to. And must not. ____ To learn more about my books, and two wonderful middle grade choices, and how to bring any or all of these stories to your classrooms, you may also watch this brief video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-P7fOXdwjNM&t=19s or reach out to me at g.polisner@gmail.com. To never forget, #ReadAndRemember

Friday Feedback with my BVFE Amy Fellner Dominy: Writing as Your Best Self

Happy Friday, all,

If you've been to Friday Feedback summers past (or are a fan of great realistic YA, MG, AND adorable laugh out loud picture books), you are no stranger to my Best Virtual Friend Ever (okay, okay, we are also friends in real life but we took on the title before we ever met!), Amy Fellner Dominy.

I love Amy's writing and stories, and I have learned so much from her over the years. So without a big unnecessary lead in from me, just know you are in awesome hands today.

Heeeere's Amy:


-->

I’ve been trying to write like someone else since I was twelve. 

That’s when I wrote my first novel, Thomas and the Tunnelworms. It was a direct rip off of Roald Dahl’s James and the Giant Peach. Dahl wrote widely inventive tales with oddball characters and a wacky humor that I loved and absolutely could not replicate. 

You’d think I would learn, right? But no. 

As I grew older, I fell in love with Tolkien and tried to write epic fantasy. 

Epic fail. 

I fell in awe with the world building of sci fi and dystopian novels. I read Kristin Cashore’s Graceling series and decided to create my own universe with beautiful maps and topography. 

I can’t even read a map. 

There were also attempts at poetic, lyrical writing over the years. Countless times when I would set down a literary novel and pick up my laptop trying to channel beauty through my short, stubby fingers. (Including, by the way, every time I read one of Gae’s novels.)

No go. 

A few years ago, I read Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn and decided that I, too, could write twisty plots that would make reader’s gasp in shock. 

Turns out, not so much. 

Mysteries and spy thrillers were also attempted with the same results.

I finally came to my senses this year and I owe it to Delia Owens’ Where the Crawdads Sing.  The descriptions of the setting are so beautiful I wanted to craft something one tenth as perfect. 

And it hit me that I never would. Writing descriptive passages has never come easy for me—no matter how much I’ve worked on it over the years. So why was I spending so much energy and time over the years trying to match the strengths of other authors—and failing. Maybe what I needed to do was to figure out what I’m good at.

The truth is we all have strengths and weaknesses. The trick is figuring out what they are and building on our writing strengths while minimizing our weaknesses. 

Here’s what I discovered about me:

Weaknesses (Things I struggle to write): World building. Lyrical writing. Poetry. Intricate plots. Large casts. Fantasies. Descriptions. 

Strengths (Things I like to write): Contemporary stories. Realistic fiction. Teen stories. The emotional, inner musings of characters. Dialogue. Humor. Romance. Small casts. 

So, what if I wrote a book and focused on my strengths? I could write about the inner world of a few characters and their conflicts. I could sprinkle in a few laughs and a few kisses. I could have a ton of dialogue and never tell you what a single sunset looked like. 

And that’s exactly what I did with Announcing Trouble, my newest book that hits shelves on August 5^th.  It was the most fun I’ve had writing in a very long time. Announcing Trouble is a contemporary teen story full of romance, humor and heart. And along with teen books, I’m also writing funny picture books that are all dialogue. 

Finally, I’m measuring up to the highest ideal of them all: My best self. 

☺

Now it’s your turn to ask yourself the same questions. What do you most like to write? Where do your strengths lie? Here’s a simple way to help you figure out the answer:

When you look through your WIP, what is your favorite scene and why? 

It just might reflect a strength of yours. 

Today, I’d love you to share that passage with the rest of us. Also, tell us why it’s your favorite—why was it fun to write? Is there a truth in there you can build upon in your own writing? 

We all admire other authors and that’s a great thing. But it’s when we allow our own unique strengths and voice to shine that we do our best work. 

So here’s the scene I’d like to share with you. It’s a passage from Announcing Trouble.  First a little about the book: 

I may know everything there is to know about baseball, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. Or like him. Garrett Reeves: sidelined player and the embodiment of everything I’ve learned to hate about baseball. He’s gorgeous, he’s cocky, he’s laser-focused on getting back in the game, no matter the cost.

When he convinces me to call games alongside him, our chemistry heats up the booth. We’re good together, whether I want to admit it or not. I’m finding that I like baseball again, but even worse, I’m liking Garrett. A lot.

But when he has to decide between our future and a new shot at his dreams, I know baseball will win out every time. 

Disclaimer: This Entangled Teen Crush book has tons of hilarious banter, lots of sexual tension, and a hero who will throw a wild pitch right at your heart. 

 (And, Amy won't say it, so I will! Please preorder Announcing Trouble and/or check out all of Amy's other wonderful books!!)

And now, here's my scene for feedback (if you're not familiar with the RULES please read them there first!):

“We can win this thing, Walters. I mean, how can we lose? I’m charming and insightful, and you understand the nuances of the game. Plus, you’re a girl.” 

I blink in disbelief. “That’s what I bring to this team? I’m a girl.” 

“It’s a bonus. Sets us apart. How many others will have a girl who knows her shit the way you do?” His head tilts as he studies me. “Especially one who’s so pretty.” 

My jaw drops. “Am I supposed to be flattered? Because that’s incredibly sexist, not to mention patronizing and...” 

“Demeaning?” he adds helpfully.
  He laughs. “It’s just an observation. Right now our camera is fixed on the field, but there might be opportunity for video, too. And you have nice eyes. Except when you frown and you get these weird slash marks between your eyes.” He points. “Yeah. Like those. I love the vintage tees, but your sandals are hideous. We’ll cut those out of our publicity photo.” 

“Publicity photo?”


“We need to submit it with our game tape.”


It’s all I can do not to scream. “There is going to be no game tape. I’m not saying yes.”


“Because I don’t like your sandals?”


“Leave my sandals out of this!”


“That’s my point exactly.” His eyes gleam. “See, we’re already in agreement.”

Looking forward to reading your excerpts in the comments!

- Amy (and gae)

p.s. If you’re interested in reading more, the first chapter is available on my website: amy@amydominy.com. You’ll find it HERE. I’m also starting a monthly newsletter with giveaways, excerpts and book news. If you’d to sign up, let me know in your comments. My mailing list isn’t quite set up yet, but I can add you myself. ☺   

Thanks so much to Gae for hosting me today. And thanks to you all for taking time to read this. I hope you’ll share an excerpt, too! I’ll be checking in all day and I’d love to read what you’re working on.  

Friday Feedback: Will this Be Your Summer to Fly? (and. . . the Rules).

One of the perks of sticking with it?
getting to meet and hang with some of your own personal heroes!
Here, with the truly awesome human, Chris Crutcher.

"I've always wanted to write a book."

You've been saying this for years.

Or, better yet, you started a book years ago, but never found the wherewithal to finish.

So, what exactly are you waiting for??

Oh right:

              The right moment.

              Enough time.

              Proof you can really get it done.

Proof it won't suck.

Proof you don't suck.

Proof you won't have wasted all that time.

https://giphy.com/gifs/65ODCwM00NVmEyLsX3

Yeah, forgive me for laughing, but . . . good luck with that.

Because no matter how long you wait (AND if you're me -- and most the writers I know -- it won't matter how long you actually are published for,) you are never going to have ANY of those occur.

Not time.

Not proof.

Not really.

At least not without YOU drilling opposite messages into your head. Here they are:

The time is now.

THIS is the right moment.

There will NEVER be more time than there is now.

There will NEVER BE enough time.

Ever.

And, there is absolutely no proof you can get it done. Like, zero. Well, except for the empirical fact that you have hands that type, presumably a laptop (or writers notebook, or very long scroll of toilet paper), a brain that works (most days), and a pen. Therefore nothing but YOU is stopping you.

You're welcome.

But seriously. Very few of us have the luxury to just start out as writers (or ever do nothing other than write to support ourselves). The first complete manuscript I ever wrote took me five years. When I started it, I had a colicky, impossible toddler, a baby in my tummy, and worked from home as a lawyer writing per diem motion papers and representing a few of my own clients on the side.

By the time I finished the manuscript, I had a six year old, a four year old, and was working three-quarters time running my own law practice. Oh, and p.s. that book never sold. Never saw the light of day. Nor did the one I wrote after it.

ALL my writing during those years took place from 10 pm - 3 am, and, yeah, some mornings I was very very tired.

Here's something else, with a fifth and sixth book coming out in 2020 from major publishers, I STILL don't know if I can do it again. I still don't know if I'm wasting my time. If I have anything to say that's worthy of all the effort and revision and rejection. So that most days, surfing the internet and ordering clothes from Free People is way easier than butt-in-chair to see what -- if anything -- comes out of me.

And, then, somehow, I do it. I write that page.
That sentence.
That scene.

The one that makes my heart race, that comes up out of me from who knows where (though, once in a while, I have an idea...)?

The one that sends me chasing after the next sentence, after the characters, and, eventually, the whole of their story waiting to unfold.

And I let them march forward (knowing I can change it all later if I want to), let the characters take up enough words, enough moments in my head, that they start to occupy this space that's less thought and more magic. And just a tiny bit of promise. I allow them the space to come alive and remind me that THEY have something to say.

I have NO idea if this is the right place to start, but it's
A place to start, which is better than not ever starting at all. 

I focus not on the book/story at first, but the small moments, the characters, and hope they will be enough to bring me back a second day and sustain me.

So, for now, STOP worrying about the big picture, and march forward with the small.

STOP asking if you have the time, and make (take) it.

START somewhere.

And once you do, don't turn back. Not now. Later you'll know whether that was the right ultimate starting spot, but right now, if you are typing, it is.

And STOP asking if your words will be good enough, and just write them.

You can change them later. I promise. And you will.

But there is nothing to make pretty if you never write it at all.

Having said that, welcome to Friday Feedback! And, hey, guess what? I'm in your shoes. Working on something new and I'm not quite sure what it is. The working title is EDGES and you've seen a few glimpses above. In a minute, I'm going to share an excerpt with you from the opening for your feedback (because that's how this works). Then, you do the same in the comments.

If you are a first time participant, before you get started, please read -- and abide by -- the rules!!!

But first, in case you've gotten here, and you still don't know how it works:

How it works. Easy peasy:

Every week, I -- or one of my awesome guest authors -- will share a tiny bit of writing wisdom followed by an excerpt of our own ROUGH, UNPUBLISHED writing for your feedback. In return, we offer you the same opportunity: to share a brief excerpt in the comments for feedback from us -- AND from other campers!). 

See? Simple.

Now, HERE ARE THE RULES: 

1. The Feedback should always be given in this order:

• WHAT WORKS (and why)?;
• WHAT MIGHT NOT BE WORKING if anything (and why)?; and
• ARE YOU COMPELLED TO KEEP READING?

Please note the order of those. Here at Friday Feedback, our first goal is to be encouraging. We highlight the gems in one another's writing before we offer up constructive criticism. If you launch in with constructive criticism, I will hunt you down and fine you. Okay, well, I will hunt you down and scold you. :) 

2. The excerpts should not exceed three (3) paragraphs, if long, five (5) paragraphs if mostly dialogue or otherwise short. This rule holds even if I, or my guest authors, post a longer excerpt. If you put up more than the requested length, we do not promise to read beyond the stated limits. And PLEASE DON'T MAKE US CLICK ON A LINK TO READ YOUR EXCERPT ELSEWHERE!!! If you're having trouble posting, feel free to email me at g.polisner@gmail.com

You may post excerpts through Saturday and I will check in, but I do not require my guest authors to read past close of business Friday. 

3. We ask you to remember that this is just for illustrative and enjoyment purposes. There is only so much we can realistically glean from a brief excerpt out of context. Friday Feedback is intended to be instructional and inspiring, but please know our feedback out of context of a full work must always be taken as merely that. Your job here is to take in the information as you will. Keep what you like. Toss what you don't. In the end, you are the boss of your own writing.

4. You may be the recipient of one of my patented "Superspeed Flash Edits."

Okay, fine, they're not patented, whatever. Sometimes, if your excerpt lends itself to me doing one of these, I will do so: namely, zip through your piece editing for passive voice (where not intended) unneeded words, wrong punctuation, repetition, etc.

I will NOT edit your own unique voice or substantive writing. This is an exercise intended to demonstrate how revision/clean up/intentional writing can truly make our voices pop and shine. And this is almost always SECOND DRAFT STUFF -- the stuff of REVISION -- when you are sharing first draft stuff, and so, again, is merely intended to make you aware of potential tics and such that take away from your own beautiful work, so you can get on that stuff DOWN THE ROAD.

If you do NOT want to be the recipient of a Superspeed Flash Edit for any reason, please message me at g.polisner@gmail.com and I'll remember not to edit you, or even say so right in the comments. :) 

5. To elaborate on one of the points above. . . I know many of you work summers and may not find time to post your excerpt until late Friday evening. I do not ask any of my guest authors to return Saturday, but some of them are willing. I will often return Saturday morning to give stragglers feedback. Please don't post beyond that. Please note that Friday Feedback takes a lot of work if the comments are busy, and my, and my guest authors', time is offered to you for free as a source of inspiration and encouragement. If you participate here, please order my newest title, IN SIGHT OF STARS, or any of my other titles if they appeal more to you, and when possible, please order the newest title of my guest authors. If you are unable to purchase copies, it is almost as good to reach out to your local library and ask them to order it in if they don't have it already! 

And, now, without further ado (because that was already a LOT of ado), here's the current very opening of EDGES. Believe you me, I'm nearly as nervous as you are to share, especially since it's not my usual comfort zone of YA. But, too bad for me. So, here it goes:

Twenty-three Years Later.

Paul

Paul Sobel stares at the ceiling thinking about some damned bird, as he has been doing for -- well, how many hours has it been now?

He lifts his wrist out of habit to check, but of course he stopped wearing a watch ages ago. God forbid he didn’t give in and learn to use that damned cell phone for everything, like everyone else does. Time. Internet. Weather. Texting, for God’s sake. Texting. All forms of human contact. A damned slave to some metal and glass box filled with pixels, helpless to function when you suddenly find you don’t have one on you.

Well, honestly, then, he has no idea what time it is.

It could be 8 pm. It could be midnight. Hell, it could be 2 am.

His stomach growls, and he wonders vaguely, again, how many messages are piled up on his cell phone where he left it on the kitchen counter when he headed down.

Down to the freezer to get some ice cream.

If June were here, none of this would have happened.

But the bird? The bird? What was that thing called again? Maybe it’s the loss of blood affecting his memory, or the pain in his low back and right shoulder, now replaced with a tingling nothingness. Or maybe it’s simply hunger and lack of movement. He’s barely eaten since yesterday.

A Casserole! No, no, of course not. That’s not it. That’s food. This was a huge emu or ostrich type thing that looked even more vicious and prehistoric.

A Cassoulet. Hah, no! Food, again. Some sort of pork and bean dish?

He laughs out loud at this, so hard he begins to cry. Stupid old pansy-ass is flat out crying, his whole upper body wracked with sobs.

---------

xox gae (see you in the comments!!)

New Books Coming, Older Book Updates, and Friday Feedback Summer 2019

Join the Friday Feedback facebook page. . .
or follow me at my YA blog @http://ghpolisner.blogspot.com/ for weekly posts
starting June 21!

It's been a while since I posted here . . . It's been a busy several months including bookwise, with two books in production for early 2020, an upper YA called JACK KEROUAC IS DEAD TO ME which many of you have been hearing about for a while now, and my debut middle grade, SEVEN CLUES TO HOME, co-written with friend and huge talent Nora Raleigh Baskin (I'm so excited!!!!!) but I wanted to share here that, although it will no longer be a part of Teachers Write, I do plan to continue to host FRIDAY FEEDBACK here this summer, as I did before TW even ever started.

What is Friday Feedback? It's a place to get some inspiration, a bit of feedback, and possibly, if I'm in the mood and you're willing, a "superspeed flash edit" that might be illustrative of how some tiny craft tweaks can often make our writing pop and shine even more. Sometimes there are awesome guest author hosts... everyone from Avi (!!!) to Kate Klise have hosted!


If you want to get an idea of how it works, READ THIS POST FROM 2014 then scroll through the comments, because the comments are pretty much where all the action happens. Participation is free, though I do ask that if you are regularly participating, you purchase at least one of my books, and the books of at least a few of my guest authors. 💖

***It will begin on Friday June 21 and run through Friday August 16th if I got my dates right!***

Anyway, I've missed all my regular participants there, and I'm looking forward to seeing them as well as new ones! If you're on facebook, in addition to following the blog you can join the Friday Feedback page HERE.


In other news, I was quite honored to learn recently that THE MEMORY OF THINGS was the

winner of this year's GOLDEN ARCHER AWARD, Wisconsin's Children's Choice Award, Senior Division. While it has also won the Wisconsin State Reading Association Book Award which is awesome, the Golden Archer is even moreso, given that it is chosen by those I wrote it for, young adults -- who weren't even alive at this point when 9/11 happened!

As for IN SIGHT OF STARS, it is the official July selection of the MomAdvice Book Club . . . you do NOT have to be a mom to participate! I think the organizer chose it without reading it first, so I'm nervous and anxious awaiting to hear whether or not she liked it! 😳 I hope to participate in some sort of virtual Q&A in conjunction with that in July.

And, last but not least, if you are reading and are looking for your own summer book club selection, choose any one of my books for your bookclub of five or more, and I will happily skype in for a Q&A so long as we can make the date work! Just email me at g.polisner@gmail.com to make it happen!

That's a good deal, right??

Right. 

So, off you go to make those plans. 😁

In addition to my own artistic endeavors . . . NO, I can't help myself . . .  both my sons have been pursuing their singer/songwriter careers, each as they finish up school (both majoring in music, one double majoring in music/business). You can follow them on Instagram @samuelgraymusic and @holdenmiller and listen to their music here on Soundcloud (Sam) and here on Spotify, or wherever songs are streamed, respectively.

Hey, at least I'm not going on about how talented my dog and our citrus leatherback bearded dragon are!

(The dog is super talented! I swear!)

xox gae

Friday Feedback: Where Will Your Spark Come From . . . ? And, THE RULES.

Dear readers
(campers/teachers/librarians/aspiring writers),

here is what you might want to know about me as I lead you through a summer of writing:

I have no idea how I've written well over ten manuscripts, sold half of them, had four already come out in traditionally published form.

None.

Like, zero.

Zilch.

I mean, yes, sure, fine: I know I did certain things, dug down, persevered, sat "ass in chair" for endless hours, hitting keys, and so on. But the stories themselves? Still after all this time, I have NO idea how those come.

Here's the hard cold truth:

I am not a person who has stories spilling out of my pores.

The world interests me -- moves me infinitely -- but it's the small moments I get caught up in, sort of free-floating curiosities -- beginnings, perhaps, but not more. Sparks of ideas, clearly without middles or ends.


A father walks out.








A boy too young to swim dives into a pool.

A tower comes down changing everything.














Someone draws a mark across someone else's artwork.





There is a moment of breaking.

A moment of healing.

Possibly, a moment of falling in love.




That's it, people. That's all I have when I enter into my stories. That is what I dive in with.

And, so, each time I find myself having finished one and back at a beginning, I doubt my ability, not to write the story once it arrives, but to have the story -- any story-- come in the first place.

And when it does, and I reach a middle and, finally, a shining end, I'm never quite sure how I got there.


So, HOW do I do it? Well. I can tell you how I don't. I don't sit at a blank screen willing shit to come. For me, that would never make it happen.

For me, for story to come, I take myself away from the computer and I swim.

I swim.

I swim.

And while I am swimming, I start asking myself questions:

What triggered this moment? And why does this moment matter to me? What does it say about life? About the world around us? About being human?

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

And more questions: What do I have to add to that? What do I have to explore or impart?

What do *I* have to say?

Here's how some of the above moments might expand outward in that way to hint at story:

A father walks out.
A boy has to step up. Stop burying his head in the sand and learn how to be an adult.

To stop running away and come home.

How do we do this alone?
Maybe we don't. We find a friend.

I have something to say about friendship.




A boy too young to swim dives into a pool.

A girl is frozen, can't help him.

Why?

What has happened to make her afraid?

She has failed somewhere. Failed mightily. And now she has no self worth.

What will help her feel brave again?

Ans what do I have to say about this? Something about forgiveness:
Forgiving others and ourselves. . .

Someone draws a mark across another person's artwork.

That someone is a boy who wants to be an artist. He knows this is wrong,
so why?

He's hurting and desperate for connection.

He's got good reason: he needs help. Too much hurt and pain have piled on.

What do I have to say about this?
There are ways to seek help. There are good, skilled people who want to help us. And we also have the ability to help ourselves.


So, if you are about to embark on your Teachers Write/Friday Feedback summer, and have no story idea in mind, start looking for moments, asking questions, and walk away from the screen and jump into the proverbial or literal water and swim.

And if you already have that story started? Ask those same questions. Ask the louder and harder, over and over again. And keep answering them. Ask them through first and second drafts, and endless drafts of revisions.

AND now, without further ado, Friday Feedback Summer 2018 and THE RULES (they are there for a reason. Please read AND follow them!)

FRIDAY FEEDBACK SUMMER 2018.

How does it work? Easy peasy:

Every week, I -- or one of my awesome guest authors -- will share a tiny bit of writing wisdom followed by an excerpt of our own ROUGH, UNPUBLISHED writing for your feedback. In return, we offer you the same opportunity: to share a brief excerpt in the comments for feedback from us -- AND from other campers!). 

See? Simple and exciting. There are just a few RULES: 

1. The Feedback should be specific and always be given in this order:

• WHAT WORKS (and why)?;
• WHAT MIGHT NOT BE WORKING if anything (and why)?; and
• ARE YOU COMPELLED TO KEEP READING?

Please note the order of those. Here at Friday Feedback, our first goal is to be encouraging. We appreciate the gems in one another's writing before we offer up constructive criticism.

2. The excerpts should not exceed three (3) paragraphs, if long, five (5) paragraphs if mostly dialogue or otherwise short. This rule holds even if I, or my guest authors, post a longer excerpt. 

There may be 30 - 50 excerpts up here on a busy week for me and/or my guest authors to read. If you put up more than the requested length, we do not promise to read beyond the stated limits. You may post excerpts through Saturday and I will check in, but I do not require my guest authors to read past close of business Friday. 

3. We ask you to remember this: there is only so much we can realistically glean from a brief excerpt out of context. Friday Feedback is intended to be instructional and inspiring, but please know our feedback out of context of a full work must always be taken as merely that. Your job here is to take in the information as you will. Keep what you like. Toss what you don't. In the end, you are the boss of your own writing.

4. You may be the recipient of one of my patented "Superspeed Flash Edits."

Okay, fine, they're not patented, whatever. Sometimes, if your excerpt lends itself to me doing one of these, I will do so: namely, zip through your piece editing for passive voice (where not intended) unneeded words, wrong punctuation, repetition, etc.

I will NOT edit your own unique voice or substantive writing. This is an exercise intended to demonstrate how revision/clean up/intentional writing can truly make our voices pop and shine. And this is almost always SECOND DRAFT STUFF -- the stuff of REVISION -- and is merely intended to make you aware of potential tics and such that take away from your own beautiful worl.

If you do NOT want to be the recipient of a Superspeed Flash Edit for any reason, please message me at g.polisner@gmail.com and I'll remember not to edit you. :) 

5. I know many of you work summers and may not find time to post your excerpt until late Friday evening. I do not ask any of my guest authors to return Saturday, but some of them are willing. I will often return Saturday morning to give stragglers feedback. Please don't post beyond that. Please note that Friday Feedback takes a lot of work -- often a whole day's work, offered to you for free as a source of inspiration and encouragement. If you participate here, please either order my newest title, IN SIGHT OF STARS, and the newest title of my guest authors, or if you are unable to purchase a copy, please reach out to your local library and ask them to order it in! And if you are an audiobook lover, I HIGHLY recommend Michael Crouch's stellar narration of IN SIGHT OF STARS. 

And, now, since I always go first, I just happened to have written a potential new beginning to my next novel (for those who have known me a while, you have seen this title floating out here for a long while now....), JACK KEROUAC IS DEAD TO ME.

I'm doing a major revision under the guidance of my fab editor, Vicki Lame, and playing with some voice and technical stuff in the story, so I'm anxious to hear what works for you, what doesn't, and whether you are compelled to keep reading?

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The day is hot. We are running through a sprinkler in my backyard, dodging in and out of the water that fans over us, shrieking gleefully as cold droplets rain down on our tanned shoulders, our stomachs, our legs.

You push me closer as the arc of water returns, and I fall onto the grass, laughing, managing to take you down with me. The sod under us is new and soft, and the freshly mown blades stick to our limbs, our bodies, our faces.

We don’t care; we have no one to impress but ourselves. We are giddy with summer, with each other. We are still on the cusp of everything.

After, you turn off the hose, and we lie on faded chaise lounges we have dragged to the middle of my yard. Our chests heave with rapid, satisfied breaths in our barely-filled-out bikini tops.

You reach out and take my hand.

“You are perfect, JL, you know it?” you say. “I have never had a friend as perfect as you.”

“No I’m not, don’t be stupid,” I snap back, wanting to untangle my fingers, detach for a moment, but you only squeeze harder.

“Well, I think you are. I wish I were more like you, pretty and free, and not afraid of anything. Like your mother. Plus, I can tell you anything, all sorts of secrets and they’re safe with you – with us.”

You think it’s a compliment when you say this, to tell me that I am like my mother. To think I am unfettered in that way. Yet even as you say it, something else lurks at the edges of your words. You have judged me, decided who I am. And, at some point, I will prove you wrong and fail you. Something scares me deeply about this truth.

“I am not,” I say, my face reddening in protest, but you don’t look to see, and even if you did, you couldn’t tell my blush from the spreading color of heat from the sun.

“Are too,” you insist. “I wish I could be more like you.”

So maybe I’m wrong.

Maybe you’re not judging me at all.

I squeeze your fingers back, wanting to agree with you instead, to get back to the lightness, and hold onto whatever spell has you so enamored with me.

Or maybe I’m weak and don’t have the heart to call out the lie, or tell you how afraid of everything I really am.