Me, in my other true element. |
Ah, dear campers,
Somehow, too quickly, this is the last "official" Friday Feedback of our 2105 Teachers Write! summer.
How ridiculously unfair!
I will post an unofficial wrap up with gifts, advice, links and giveaways next Friday, and welcome as many of you who still have time and stamina to show up there! I also remind you to read through the comments on our "So You Want to Join a Critique Group" post and chime in if you want to make connections there.
Now, without further ado, today's pretty amazing guest author, Selene Castrovilla* author of several picture books including the award-winning REVOLUTIONARY FRIENDS, as well as several young adult novels, is here to talk about that ever elusive and ever important, "VOICE" in story. How to find it and what it means.
Selene's most recent YA novel, MELT, "a brutal love story," has sure got a strong one going throughout! I know because I've read it. More particularly, I tore through it, heart-racing, and you will too.
MELT has garnered SIX honors and awards, and none other than Jacqueline Woodson (BROWN GIRL DREAMING) has said about Selene & MELT that Selene is ". . . a writer worth watching."
Jacqueline Woodson, so, I mean, it doesn't get much better than that.
p.s. the original post on voice sent to me by Selene was over 14 pages long! Um, FOURTEEN PAGES!! Too long for a blog post, but, gosh, don't you just love our guest authors?!? If you would like to read the entire post, with its many incredible examples, feel free to email me (g.polisner@gmail.com) and I will forward it to you for your reading pleasure!
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If you like and have used this post, please check out my books HERE.
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Now, here's Selene:
We often refer to voice in this most
mystical sounding way: “You
found your voice!” And
while there is an ethereal aspect to writing which cannot be taught, voice is
in fact something stemming from craft. Voice is not inspiration. Voice is the
result of the writer transitioning inspiration into story using specific tools
and techniques. Voice is the result of damn hard work and determination.
Patti Lee Gauch, one of the greatest
children’s
book editors, asks this question of writers: “Did you go far enough?”
Voice is what happens when you go far enough.
Voice is what happens when you go far enough.
"Voice is the heart of your story. Literally: it is the mighty muscle though which our story’s life’s blood circulates and flows. Figuratively: It is the core, it is the essence. It is the truth."
Voice is the heart of your story.
Literally: it is the mighty muscle though which our story’s life’s blood circulates and flows. Figuratively: It is the core,
it is the essence. It is the truth.
Voice separates mediocre and even
good writing from great. Voice is what makes you root for the hero, and even feel
for the anti-hero. Voice leads to total immersion; comprehensive investment by
the reader. If you put a book down without finishing, its voice did not compel
you.
Voice is the way your story is told,
in every aspect. It requires meticulous attention to details.
Everything we include in our story
must circulate through voice.
Here’s how:
Character
Character is, of course, where we
start. Plot stems from character. Because it is your character’s personality that determines where
they will head, and how they will react to their circumstances. If Harry Potter
had been a little jerk, things would’ve gone done differently at Hogwarts.
If you love a book you love the
character’s
journey (even if they are anti-heroes, you can can still enjoy their ride to
either redemption or ruination.) Your character is your voice, because your
story stems through his perceptions and experiences and choices. But we must
develop this voice carefully and completely.
How do we present our character’s voice effectively? We must know it
intimately. We must become this character.
Examples:
The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger:
“If
you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll
probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was
like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that
David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you
want to know the truth.”
What if it had been written like
this:
“I
don’t
feel like talking about my childhood. Especially not my parents.”
It boils down to the same
information, but it lacks the voice. See the difference!?
Setting
It’s not enough to describe a powerful setting. This setting
must be seen through the voice: the eyes and mood of your character. And if
there’s
more than one point of view, you must accomplish this multiple times. This is
the most commonly ignored element I see. Your setting is not just a description
of a place because no two people see a place the same way.
Examples:
Last Night I Sang to the Monster by Benjamin Alire Sáenz
“Somebody
put a calendar on the bulletin board in my room. I guess they wanted to make
sure I knew what day it was. I think I heard a voice say, ‘You can make the days.’
That’s a funny thing to do with days. Mark them. Put an X on
them. Cross them out.”
What if it had been written like
this:
“There
was a calendar in my room. They said I could mark off the days.”
America by E.R. Frank
“You
have to watch what you say around here because everything you say means
something and somebody's always telling you what you mean.
‘Step
off,’ I
tell this nurse when she tries to get me to eat.
‘You
mean, thank you for caring,’ she says. ‘You’re
welcome.’
‘I
need a lighter,’ I
tell her, and she goes, ‘You
mean you want a lighter. Dream on, sweetheart.’
So I take their medicine and walk
around in socks the ay they make you, and stay real quiet.”
What if it had been written like
this:
“I’m stuck in this hospital where
everything is misconstrued. So I comply with their rules and stay quiet.”
Sensory Details
The sensory details our character
observes are totally dependent on that character’s state of mind, which lends to voice.
Examples:
The Catcher in the Rye
“Then
she introduced me to this Navy guy. His name was Commander Blop or something. He was one of those guys that think
they’re being a pansy if they don’t
break around forty of your fingers when they shake hands with you. God, I hate that stuff.”
What if it had been written like
this:
“She
introduced me to her date, a Navy fellow. He had a strong handshake.”
Precision of Language
We have a rich language. So many words mean
basically the same thing, but they possess different moods and shades. The
texture of the words we choice weaves voice.
If you want your character to appear depressed or downtrodden, have them plod across the floor. If they are playful, have them scamper. When I wanted my character to be disdainful to the legal process (and in general), I gave him the line: “The assistant DA rolls in.” I could’ve used “strolls,” but “rolls” says so much more. That sentence has voice.
Sensory words
I also like to use words that have a
sensory feeling to them, in conjunction with the voice:
glints - shiny, but it feels sharp
stammers - struggles to get words
out, but with a brutal, stamping feel
Gustave Flaubert famously coined the
term “le
mot juste:” the
right word. He labored to find the precise word which would reveal the truth on
the page. I, too,believe that we must search for le mot juste. In fact, I find
great satisfaction in this thrill of the word chase. One of my great joys is
using my Flip Dictionary (by
Barbara Ann Kipfer, published by Writer’s Digest books.) It’s a thesaurus on steroids. Meant for writers, it will
provide you with inspiration and aha! moments to enrich not only your story,
but also you.
Here’s an example of both precision of language & sensory
words:
As I lay Dying by William Faulkner
“It’s because he stays out there, right under the window, hammering and
sawing on that goddamn box. Where she’s got to see him. Where every breath she draws is full of his knocking
and sawing where she can see him saying See. See what a good one I am making
for you. I told him to go somewhere else. I said Good God do you want to see
her in it. It’s like when he was a little boy and she says if
she had some fertilizer she would try to raise some flowers and he taken the
bread pan and brought it back from the barn full of dung.
And now them others sitting
there, like buzzards. Waiting, fanning themselves. Because I said If you wouldn’t keep on sawing and nailing at it until a man
cant sleep even and her hands laying on the quilt like two of them roots dug up
and tried to wash and you couldn’t get them clean.”
What if it was written like this:
“Cash
is building my mother’s
coffin right under her window. And the rest of the family sits in her room
waiting for her to die.”
Pacing
Never underestimate the power of
pacing to influence your voice. Pacing runs side by side with word choice,
because the words you use determine your pacing. Short, staccato word chains create
a different pace that long, weightier words.
Play with words as you build your
sentences!
stumbles vs. trips
collapses vs. falls
wounded vs. hurt
Shift in voice
Voice can also do a shift. It can be
dark to darkest, as in Macbeth by William Shakespeare
In the beginning Macbeth says:
“Come
what come may,
Time and the hour runs through the
darkest day.”
In the end he says:
“To-morrow, and
to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.”
It can be hopeless to hopeful, as in You
Don’t
Know Me by David Klass:
In the beginning John says:
“You
don’t
know me.
Just for example, you think I’m upstairs in my room doing my
homework. Wrong…And I
am not in this house at all. I am in the middle of a hurricane. Thunder is
cymbal-crashing above and beneath me. Lightening makes my hair stand up. Winds
are spinning me like a top…You don’t know me at all.”
In the end he realizes:
“I
look up into your eyes and I see the truth there, and I admit that I was
mistaken all along.
So you do know me, Mom.
So you do know who I am after all.”
But this shift must be a consequence
of the character’s
journey. It can't appear out of nowhere. If that happens, the reader is at the
least dissatisfied, and at the most disgusted. An unjustified shift of voice at
the end is what makes us “hate
that book” even
if we enjoyed it to that point.
I hope this has helped you. (Oh, it has, Selene!! It has! It's a pretty extraordinary post!)
And, now, since it's Friday Feedback, let's share bits of our work that reflect a strong moment of voice. Here's a moment from SIGNS OF LIFE, the sequel to MELT, due out January 2016! And if you're new to Friday Feedback, don't forget to scroll to the bottom of this link to read THE RULES.
xox Selene (& gae)
And, now, since it's Friday Feedback, let's share bits of our work that reflect a strong moment of voice. Here's a moment from SIGNS OF LIFE, the sequel to MELT, due out January 2016! And if you're new to Friday Feedback, don't forget to scroll to the bottom of this link to read THE RULES.
xox Selene (& gae)
Joey –Now
I
ain’t talked with her for almost a year.
Scratch that. Shit. Grammar is a
biatch. Do I get points for substituting ‘biatch’ in
for the word I’d normally use? Doubtful. Mrs. Baker’s
not cutting any breaks for stuff like that. She would say it would be better
for me to avoid all such terms. She would go, “Grammar
is unpleasant, Joseph. I believe that is what you meant to convey.”
Not go. Say. “People
‘say,’ Joseph.” That's
what Mrs. Baker would say. “They speak.”
Right, Mrs. Baker. You're absolutely
right. People speak.
Except when they don’t.
Except when they can’t.
Sometimes they ‘go,’ but
it has nothing to do with speaking. Or leaving for that matter. Sometimes they
go even when they’re here, and that sucks.
Oh, sorry Mrs. Baker. I mean, that
is unpleasant.
But really, it sucks.
I promised her I’d
graduate, and go to community college. Not Mrs. Baker. Doll. I promised Doll. I
didn’t think I’d
get in to the college, but she said “Try, just try,” and
so I applied, and they took me. Go figure.
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