Friday, April 13, 2012

Friday Feedback, Reworking the Beginning

Me, being fly. *coughs*
This week, I be fly.

Too fly to really deal with Friday Feedback.

Too fly to use proper grammar, apparently.

Too fly to sound as if I could ever even really be fly.

(I entertain myself, you know.)

At any rate. That *points up* is me, being fly. Okay, not really. That was me trying to show someone the color of my new pink sunglasses.

They fly.

No? Really?

Fine. Whatever.

It's been a fun, happy week. Included in the fun, is the fact that The Pull of Gravity was named to the Bankstreet list of Best Children's Books of the Year, ages 12- 14. I am HUGELY honored (and thrilled to see a few Class of 2K11 - the Graduates friends' books in there, too!). Then, there was the whole film option thingy I was talking about HERE if you missed it. Whether it happens or not, it is kinda fly to be chatting on the phone with a Hollywood producer, don'tcha think?

And, then, maybe there's some other stuff, too, super top secret CIA-like things, that I'm not at liberty to discuss yet.

Plus, my boys are on vacation, and they're both happy, and my hubby is a gem, so, I'm just waiting to get hit by a bus. >:(

But I digress.

Friday Feedback. Here we go. You know the rules. Okay, fine, if you don't, they're HERE. Today, I'm revisiting an old WIP (Work In Progress) I hadn't touched or looked at in more than a year. I started to rework the opening again the other day, so I'm posting it here. It's a real "vomit" rework, so, you know, take it with a grain of salt.

photo credit: SciencePhotoLib.

Delias hyparete metarete – Common name – Painted Jezebel


Chapter One

It is believed that the Jezebel’s brightly-colored underside

serves as a warning pattern to predatory animals.

The butterflies arrived on a Saturday, but I waited till Sunday to open them. I needed Max’s help with the greenhouse.

It was late April, and I’d been dating Max Gordon a few weeks by then. That particular day stuck with me because of how he built the greenhouse, and also because of what Aubrey said.

It’s funny how my mind goes back to that spot each time, to how Max helped me, and to the stupid little thing that Aubrey said. As if I had heeded it, it might actually have changed the course of things. With Mom, and Aubrey, and Ethan.

Max was at my desk, working on the frame, and Aubrey and I sat together on my bed, tackling the smaller boxes with the butterfly larvae. Well, I tackled, while Aubrey lazed about, bored and inattentive.

It bugged me how Aubrey always used to like the butterflies almost as much as I did, until she started hanging around with those other girls.

Happy Friday! Post your stuff in the comments for feedback.
- gae

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