Ahem, five years, and a fu**ton of gratitude

this is me a few months ago...
i may not look quite this cheerful today...

GRAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Ahem.

This is me.

Waiting.

This is me, out on submission.

This is me, feeling somewhat like crap for the past month+ compounded by the writerly fear that I will never be (traditionally) published again.

This is me,

rejected,

insecure,

impatient,

frustrated,

disillusioned (how can it be THIS hard the (effing) third time around?! WTF?!?!).

This is me,

looking less like her up there (*points up*)

and more like my favorite facebook sticker Mobile Girl, MiM:

And yet.

And yet.

And yet.

Today is five years since the sale of THE PULL OF GRAVITY to the extraordinary Frances Foster.

Five years ago today...

Five years since I officially became a to-be published author, fancy PW announcement and all.

There are others who work faster, get more deals, have more sales.

So be it. They are there.

I am here.

This is what you must know: there's not a moment of it I take for granted.

Not one moment I'm not

so fucking* grateful:

for the two books that sit on my piano in my living room,

why yes, I did leave my 10K swim plaque
up there for all of you to see...

for the agents who have believed in me, but really and most especially my current (and hopefully forever) agent, Jim McCarthy, who not only believes in me but who is smart, skilled and level-headed and has proved he can also get the job done,

 for the editors who have taken my stories on so far, believed in them and nurtured them,

the awesome Elise Howard...

for the teachers, librarians and booksellers who have invited me in to their classrooms, libraries and stores, giving me the chance to connect with my readers, which is EVERYTHING.

and, mostly for the readers, who seek out my stories, or read them because they have to but fall in love with them anyway, and who take the time to put up reviews or send me notes, which mean the world to me.

Seriously, is this not the best?!

okay, okay, wait! This one!!! ;) 

So, if I am frustrated and doubtful and angsty, I am also endlessly permanently lucky and grateful, and just wanted to take a moment of blog time to say so.

As always, thanks for stopping here and taking the time to read.

We now return you to your regularly-scheduled programming, and the internet glut of content that is late 2014.

xox gae

*sorry, sometimes you just have to.