Coping with Grief and Gaining Empathy Through Story and the Lens of History

Almost unfathomably, this September 11th marks a staggering 20 years since many of us watched in horror as the iconic twin towers fell, and our nation was under attack. As many adults still work to process the shock and trauma of that day, students not yet born in 2001, grow ever more removed from the event, lacking understanding, even as they weather devastating shared traumas of their own: Mass shootings and gun drills, political unrest, and, yes, a pandemic, and the impact of the isolation of quarantine. How do we teach children to cope with such overwhelming trauma, gaining empathy and even hope through the lens of history?

One of the answers is, and has always been, story.

It is well documented that story – especially via literary fiction -- builds empathy and understanding far better than text or nonfiction ever could. Stepping into story, and the metaphorical shoes of children their own age, to "witness" that tragic day and the days after, to feel with their own hearts how we rose from grief as a nation -- as well as changed in both good and bad ways -- is one of the most instructive ways for children today to learn to cope with their ongoing grief.

For the past five years since I wrote my fictional account of two young adults, Kyle and the bird girl, persevering through the trauma of 9/11, not to mention their own personal grief and coming of age, I have visited many schools and met countless readers ages 12 – 18 who have shared how this one little story has changed their perception and helped them to understand. Readers have voiced not only a new understanding of the actual timeline of events that day, but of how important research and source and fact checking are, or how sweeping changes in technology, security and privacy took place, or how the scourge of Islamophobia took a real and dangerous foothold in our country in the aftermath.

As one student recently admitted, “I learned how horrible it was. I used to think it wasn’t that big of a deal, but now I understand.”

Comprehending the value, and necessity, of teaching 9/11, departments of education around the country, including New York, New Jersey, and Virginia have developed 9/11 curriculum, often pairing it with Holocaust teachings. Both those traumatic events in our shared history are often associated with the easy catchphrase “Never forget.” And yet, we’ve begun to. And must not. ____ To learn more about my books, and two wonderful middle grade choices, and how to bring any or all of these stories to your classrooms, you may also watch this brief video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-P7fOXdwjNM&t=19s or reach out to me at g.polisner@gmail.com. To never forget, #ReadAndRemember

9/11, Pandemic & Shared Trauma: Coping with History through Story

This September 11th marks a staggering 20 years since many of us watched in horror as the iconic twin towers fell, and our nation was under attack. Many of us still grieve the shock and trauma of that day even while students in desks become ever more removed, not yet born in 2001, and, thus, without any first-hand understanding.

Now those students are experiencing shared trauma of their own: constant gun drills and mass shootings, political unrest, and, yes, even quarantine and a pandemic.


How do we cope with such trauma? How do we find new understanding through the lens of history?

One answer is STORY.

It is now well documented that story -- especially via literary fiction -- builds empathy and understanding far better than text or nonfiction ever could. Stepping into story, and the metaphorical shoes of children their own age, to "witness" that day and the days after, to feel with their own hearts how we rose from grief as a nation -- as well as changed in both good and bad ways -- is one of the most instructive ways for children today to also learn to cope with their ongoing grief, as well as to learn our true history including the good and the ugly changes that have occurred in our country since.

Nora Raleigh Baskin's award-winning NINE, TEN: A SEPTEMBER 11 STORY; Tom Rogers' ELEVEN (both for ages 9-12) and my award-winning THE MEMORY OF THINGS (ages 12+) are all stories about growing up, coping with tragedy, and so much more, each set against the unforgettable terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001.

Watch this brief video, share it with friends and colleagues, and invite us into your classrooms to help you help your readers step into that moment and truly understand.


To never forget, #ReadAndRemember

Reach out to me on social media @gaepol or email @g.polisner@gmail.com

We All Need to Be Kinder

Since THE MEMORY OF THINGS came out, I've been talking about 9/11 -- an unwitting emotional "expert" of sorts, by way of the research I did, and the story I told.

I believe my novel -- and others' stories -- on this subject are essential, because kids in desks, K-12, weren't even alive when our country was changed forever that impossibly sunny blue-skied day. They have as little feel for 9/11 and its aftereffects as I had for WWII when I was in school. They don't get it, and they don't care.

Science has shown that reading literary fiction builds empathy. Just last night, I had a message from a 15-year-old boy in Indiana -- I'll call him C here -- who read my book for school, and something resonated, something clicked. He is going through a rough time.

"I'm a student of [omitted for privacy reasons]," he tweeted to me, "and I would like to say I loved the book were reading in our class i read ahead and finished it and they recommended talking to u. I loved the book wich [sic] is odd because I never read books but I must say that is one of my favorite books."

We exchanged messages for about an hour. About music, about his recent breakup, about life. I offered to send him a signed copy of my book, and a few of my other titles. I just got back from the post office. "We need more kind people," he wrote to me.

Indeed, we do.

There are hashtags and sayings forever associated with 9/11: We're all in this together. #neverforget.

But are we? Have we?

We have a virus -- a pandemic in this country-- that has already killed nearly 200,000 people. Science and medicine have told us masks help. Masks work. Distancing works. And yet, day after day we are flooded with images of those who refuse to even try to help. Worse, those who harm those who try to help.

I know not everything after 9/11 was peace, love and harmony, that Islamophobia and conspiracy theories arose, that here and there, looters took advantage.

But mostly, there was an overwhelming sense of shared historic grief, a sense of urgent connection. A sense we were responsible not only for ourselves, but one another.

On a small scale, we've sure seen that since March. In our healthcare workers, our essential workers, and our educators, now, who continue to put their lives on the line for us every single day. But as a nation? It's heartbreaking, and I can't help ask myself the rhetorical question: What has changed?

Not everything is political. The fate of our neighbors, our friends, the fate of strangers, all matter.

We are all human. Our kids need us to rally TOGETHER. Not for a political party but for humanity.

Our healthcare and essential workers need us.

Our educators need us.

That boy, C? He reminded me of another male student, this one I'll call M, from Kansas, I "met" via my book a few years back who I stayed in touch with simply because of a story. My story about 9/11, and a time our country was in trouble. And we all came together. A story about one kid who finds his way through grief to cope, and in doing so, learns how to step up and be a better person. That boy, M, just messaged me two nights ago to tell me he graduated high school and is headed off to the marines.

"Wow, congrats! That's hard," I wrote. "You must be proud. And brave." We messaged on for a bit and soon enough I wrote my heart: "Please find a way to be tough. . . and also kind and accepting. A hard juggle."

"I will," M responded with a purple heart. "Thank you."

#NeverForget #WeAreSTILLAllInThisTogether #Nineeleven #Kindness #SharedHistory #literaryfictionbuildsempathy