tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post3016125218110778592..comments2024-03-25T11:29:49.222-07:00Comments on That Wee Bit Heap: Friday Feedback: Where Will Your Spark Come From . . . ? And, THE RULES.gae polisnerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10491813685110351809noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-89208503964283226702018-07-20T14:47:43.845-07:002018-07-20T14:47:43.845-07:00Oooh, I'm also very intrigued! Is the whole bo...Oooh, I'm also very intrigued! Is the whole book written in verse?Joy McCullough-Carranzahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09499534418217657768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-50319021875507152602018-07-13T04:56:22.328-07:002018-07-13T04:56:22.328-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Linda Mitchellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00833034575304594924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-59687537070957373672018-07-08T19:46:42.917-07:002018-07-08T19:46:42.917-07:00Love Nora stopping by! She'd be hosting next w...Love Nora stopping by! She'd be hosting next week!! gae polisnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10491813685110351809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-52649234548735500572018-07-08T07:05:43.461-07:002018-07-08T07:05:43.461-07:00Andrea I loved this. Your paragraph "If it we...Andrea I loved this. Your paragraph "If it were only me, I'd take the stairs to Dr. B's fifth floor office..." packed so much emotion into it. It made me wonder what the outburst had been about. More importantly as I read your excerpt I wondered who the actual patient was, the mother or the daughter. I also wonder who or what Whisper is. Definitely makes me want to read more.Sandra Stileshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028361723666419462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-70956405753814880712018-07-08T06:59:40.168-07:002018-07-08T06:59:40.168-07:00Thanks, Kay! Happy to have you back!!! <3Thanks, Kay! Happy to have you back!!! <3 gae polisnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10491813685110351809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-88379917555236071112018-07-08T06:59:05.754-07:002018-07-08T06:59:05.754-07:00Oh, Andrea, this is a moving little excerpt. I'...Oh, Andrea, this is a moving little excerpt. I'd forgotten Whisper et al over the months and am now reminded how compelled I am -- this moment makes me -- to know what has happened. What is going on? How can Whisper have caused such trouble and will it be repaired? I especially love, "The cool leather sofa wrapped around me." I feel that. Can even hear the soft "pffft" noise it made first when she sat and sunk down into its comfort. Keep going! gae polisnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10491813685110351809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-5885107154238482442018-07-07T11:40:58.800-07:002018-07-07T11:40:58.800-07:00Hello! I would like to comment first on your prece...Hello! I would like to comment first on your preceding paragraphs about how you have a little idea, and then you write a book from that! I am always interested in the author's writing processes. Thanks for sharing those. about the excerpt - YES - I want to keep reading! The carefree summer days, hanging out with our best friend. Why will her best friend start to drift away? Why does JL feel this way? What is it about her JL's mother, and why does JL already feel like a failure? I am so glad to be back for my 2nd year. I really enjoyed last year and Friday feedback.kay bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15825636933228644490noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-92120919744031957082018-07-07T06:13:26.829-07:002018-07-07T06:13:26.829-07:00Hello everyone! I saw this yesterday but then forg...Hello everyone! I saw this yesterday but then forgot (I was so immersed in my own writing) and had to search it out. Gae, this beginning pulls me in and sets up many questions in my mind about these girls, who they are and their friendship. I especially liked the first three or four paragraphs -- I can picture it so clearly! This is an interesting writing style. This line stood out to me: "You have judged me, decided who I am. And, at some point, I will prove you wrong and fail you." It makes me feel that the narrator is very self-aware, to realize this at a young age.<br /><br />I'm going to post a snippet of what I'm working on in my novel right now, even though I realize that it's Saturday and I was supposed to post it yesterday. <br /><br />If it were only me, I’d take the stairs to Dr. B’s fifth floor office, because an elevator is not a great place to be if the power goes out. But the stairs were too hard for Mom with her cane. I rode with my hands in tight fists the whole way. Mom and I hadn’t talked much since what she called my “outburst” yesterday and I definitely didn’t want to be trapped in an elevator with her. <br /><br />When I went into Dr. B’s private office, she had to wait outside. The cool leather sofa wrapped around me.<br /><br />“I’m here if you want to talk,” he said, as usual. “How was your week?”<br /><br />I gave him a quick summary. Dr. B must’ve noticed my eyes watering, because he reminded me that sad feelings are part of life. I wondered if he’d say that about my mad feelings too, and how long it would take to stop feeling mad at Mom. Getting Whisper was her idea in the first place and it wasn’t a good one. Not if it hurt so much. <br />Andrea Mackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15250681746122381149noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-29216960367749033592018-07-07T06:02:26.895-07:002018-07-07T06:02:26.895-07:00I'm intrigued! What an interesting opening!I'm intrigued! What an interesting opening!<br />Andrea Mackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15250681746122381149noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-9919375043377985002018-07-07T04:05:42.317-07:002018-07-07T04:05:42.317-07:00I am also hooked...religious stories, stories wher...I am also hooked...religious stories, stories where the character knows something about history always intrigue me. I WANT more..Nora Raleigh B.https://www.blogger.com/profile/01745202027501009062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-16711913881827723892018-07-06T20:07:16.934-07:002018-07-06T20:07:16.934-07:00Thanks, librarygirl. Guess no one is ready to shar...Thanks, librarygirl. Guess no one is ready to share writing just yet! Happy for feedback on mine. Thanks for chiming in. :) gae polisnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10491813685110351809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-4943426019284584122018-07-06T20:05:19.136-07:002018-07-06T20:05:19.136-07:00Thanks, onathought. Glad the post helped. Keep ask...Thanks, onathought. Glad the post helped. Keep asking those questions, especially away from the screen! Good luck! gae polisnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10491813685110351809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-73480101816927643582018-07-06T19:46:29.689-07:002018-07-06T19:46:29.689-07:00Hello there! 2nd year participating in TW.
No pers...Hello there! 2nd year participating in TW.<br />No personal writing to share, but here is my take on your writing...<br /><br />I like where the story is going. I can relate to the <br />character - the world seeing one thing but you knowing they don't see everything, or if they did they wouldn't think the same of you. I think it is a relatable feeling with adolescence-age children, or even young adults who are branching out from school to real-world.librarygirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07692785008819031311noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-53817661546584956622018-07-06T18:15:00.336-07:002018-07-06T18:15:00.336-07:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Adelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07599519294030929347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-82985883978366917482018-07-06T16:33:57.522-07:002018-07-06T16:33:57.522-07:00I love this so much - first I love your post becau...I love this so much - first I love your post because my writing is not going how I want it to go this summer... my time, inspiration, etc. I feel like my ideas are stuck in the back of my head, and I'm just having trouble. So I loved reading about your process, etc. Thank you so much for sharing. As for your excerpt, The voice is really working for me -- the use of "you" makes me feel like I am there. I definitely want to read more. :) onathought.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17785387207484182433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-54847380653022874722018-07-06T14:47:37.755-07:002018-07-06T14:47:37.755-07:00Thanks Anne Marie. Lovely to see you here! Looking...Thanks Anne Marie. Lovely to see you here! Looking forward to when you are ready!!! gae polisnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10491813685110351809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-54931868241464003342018-07-06T12:04:16.093-07:002018-07-06T12:04:16.093-07:00Oh, happy summer of writing!
I'm intrigued t...Oh, happy summer of writing! <br /><br />I'm intrigued to know what this relationship is. Is this relationship mutual? Who gets hurts? I know there is conflict or it's coming, but I want to know more. I love that the line about the mother just slips in, I almost missed it. I went back to reread after reading, "You think it’s a compliment when you say this". <br /><br />The lines that made me feel young were "We don’t care; we have no one to impress but ourselves. We are giddy with summer, with each other. We are still on the cusp of everything." This reminds me of summers long ago, it works. I adore when I read and can be sent back to my own memories in life. I want to read more.<br /><br />Today, I am not ready to share. I'm sure in the weeks to come I will :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08270023672053005114noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-72562194857483160372018-07-06T09:05:43.059-07:002018-07-06T09:05:43.059-07:00All helpful questions, Jen. The narrator is taking...All helpful questions, Jen. The narrator is taking us back there -- really her friend, the YOU, after several years when conflict/history has already unfolded. Hope to read some excerpts of yours this summer. :) gae polisnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10491813685110351809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-66007346655828391382018-07-06T09:04:21.595-07:002018-07-06T09:04:21.595-07:00It posted, Martha! I see it and love it and am so ...It posted, Martha! I see it and love it and am so very intrigued. What a punch you packed in those few small words. Because I tried is the very hook that, yes, compels me to keep reading!!! <br /><br />Happy summer! Gaegae polisnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10491813685110351809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-22115075530453046402018-07-06T09:03:42.316-07:002018-07-06T09:03:42.316-07:00I love the description of carefree youth in summer...I love the description of carefree youth in summer! So easy to be transported into that moment and age. And I was intrigued by the set up of deeper emotions, of being compared to a mom, of letting people down. I definitely can’t wait to get into the meat of that conflict.<br /><br />My curiosity took over in the middle of those two sections, not being able to get past my wonderings about their relationship. They go from carefree to sort of tense. Is this just the narrators anxiety or is this some sort of tension between them? Is there history here? <br /><br />Thank you for sharing with us! Jenn Risserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17816976185719260755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-34403515290061104472018-07-06T09:02:24.188-07:002018-07-06T09:02:24.188-07:00If only for the better, but worse is so much more ...If only for the better, but worse is so much more page turning! Nice to see you here, Kristi! Thanks for the feedback. gae polisnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10491813685110351809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-28185828485910881502018-07-06T08:31:01.277-07:002018-07-06T08:31:01.277-07:00Okay, maybe three times is the charm. I keep think...Okay, maybe three times is the charm. I keep thinking I’m posting but never see anything come up when I look back in the comments. I have a love/hate relationship with technology.. So....<br />Gae, so glad you are doing Friday Feedback again. I love reading snippets of what people are working on. And I love your new piece. The description made me feel like I was right there and reminded me of times in the summer. You captured a carefree attitude and then filled it with attitutde as your character struggled with comments about her mother. Very intriguing. Can’t wait to read more. Also thank you for sharing your process of getting an idea and then fleshing it out into a story and then sticking with it into a book. <br />Here is a little piece that right now I plan to use as the opening to a new YA novel I am plotting this summer and hoping to start in the fall. Thanks again and if it’s already been posted and I’m not seeing it, sorry.<br /><br /><br />You can’t steal Jesus.<br />You can ignore him.<br />Use him as a cuss word.<br />Say he doesn’t exist.<br />Celebrate him or not at Christmas and Easter.<br />But you can’t steal Jesus.<br />I know.<br />Because I tried. Martha Willeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14005984111503017276noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-61152999149311698222018-07-06T06:37:39.588-07:002018-07-06T06:37:39.588-07:00Thank you so much for sharing this piece. I am int...Thank you so much for sharing this piece. I am intrigued and want to find out more about these girls!<br /><br />I like the way you hint at their age without telling us how old they are. From what I can gather from the text, it seems to me that they are pre-teens with comments such as, “We are still on the cusp of everything” and “in our barely filled-out, bikini tops.” These comments, tied with the fact that they are frolicking in the sprinkler, let’s me, the reader, know that they are on the verge of adolescence and change is coming- for better or worse!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-92046774505305731622018-07-06T05:54:55.823-07:002018-07-06T05:54:55.823-07:00Thanks, Jen! Helpful! Happy summer. Glad to see yo...Thanks, Jen! Helpful! Happy summer. Glad to see you here!! gae polisnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10491813685110351809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3782322998406687709.post-20257798399072457622018-07-06T05:54:08.847-07:002018-07-06T05:54:08.847-07:00Thank you, Susan. Since this is a brand new and ex...Thank you, Susan. Since this is a brand new and experimental thing i'm doing with a long, differently written manuscript, that info is helpful...<br /><br />And happy summer! Hope I will see some writing from you soon! <3 gae polisnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10491813685110351809noreply@blogger.com